Without Jesus, I am nothing…

Individualism =  a society in which the ties between individuals are loose: everyone is expected to look after himself or herself and his or her immediate family only. They are self-centred and emphasize mostly on their individual goals. They emphasize their success/achievements in job or private wealth and aiming up to reach more and/or a better job position.

Collectivism = a society in which people from birth onwards are integrated into strong cohesive ingroups, which throughout people’s lifetime continue to protect them in exchange for unquestioning loyalty. They have a great emphasize on groups and think more in terms of “we“.

Please visit http://www.via-web.de/individualism-vs-collectivism.html for more information.

As a Christian, I do not practice most of the beliefs and culture in Chinese society. All the pantang larang - taboos are meaningless to me… Sometimes, i see myself as an individualistic person. Many things seem unimportant to me; i only have to do the best for my own business and try not to bother or interrupting other’s life. This is the reason where i have fewer friends. I am not a person who very hardworking to keep friend and keep in touch with friend. Sometimes, i get to know their news too late for me to send my regard and care. I seldom make new friends. I am comfortable with my established friendship with those close to me. I believe that, they will keep me.

Sometimes, I see myself is in collectivism manner. The time I start to become crazy and hang on with friends… Generally, I am friendly and kind. I can talk to a stranger and give a hand to some one first met easily [my mom says these are dangerous]. ^_^ haha, it is true. I think most of the people likes to meet someone warm and friendly rather than someone who is being cautious on you in the first sight.  

Some people start to comment that i am too individualistic… TOO… haha, this might because i am focusing on my academic stuff; I am so brave to say no; I am so directing and demanding in academic stuffs; and maybe because I am scary and they scare to be in the same group with me or dealing with me…. I do not care actually. They can do what ever they want and i am doing my own part. They can choose to stay away from me and do not talk to me at all; even eyes contact… I try my best to please so many people in class already. If some of them want to blame me for those little things, I will say, ‘I am individualistic, as you said. So, I do not care’!

A friend can become a mate after they know each other well…

A mate can become a friend after break up? Definitely can.

1. Give both of you some times to cool down. Can be no message, no meeting and no contact at all.
2. Do not blame each other for what have been happened in your relationship. The cause of ending a relationship should be borne by both of you. Although usually there is a ‘victim’ and a ‘misconductor’.
3. Thinking of his/her goodness before the relationship starts to have problems. Definitely there are some sweet and unforgettable memories in your relationship. Remember and appreciate the happy moment that you both shared together.
4. Use the comfortable medium to start your first conversation after breaking up once you are ready. Some may able to meet, some may through phone, some may through chat room… The topic could be just greeting each other and talking about recent works.  You need not to hang on for meaningless silence.
5. Examine your feeling, thought toward him/her after the first contacting. You have to view your current condition after contacting him/her. Are you feeling better? Are you need more time for the second contact? Are you benefit from the contact with him/her? Write them down and be honest to yourself.
6. Days after, you can talk to him and be open to the cause of breaking up. There is not a debate session anymore. It is the time for you both to share the feeling and the difficulties in the relationship. Let yourself to be open, and not defending. Remember, the cause of ending a relationship should be borne by both of you.

These are the guidelines that can help you both back to the early stage of friendship. Usually, mate is initially your friend. So, do not let go a friend who has been became your mate before.

A mate can become a friend after break up? Definitely can, if you WISH so.

Really not feeling well both mentally and physically since come back to sarawak. Lecturers ald tell us to be prepared for this semester with over-load work tasks. Well, i am ready but cant affort it continuously. If u ask me whether i am stress or not… i will say, no. It is not stress, it is more to mentally tiredness. I still happy-go-lucky. ^_^

My time planning for this sememster

1. Counselling stuff ald takes my 14 hours a day - class, PTA, mini (actually ‘large’ lo) research, assignments, meeting supervisors and lecturers (plus waiting time), study (this is rarely)….

2. eating 2 hours a day (including travelling)…

3. entertainment 2-3 hours - my aquarium, mixing game, bobo game, drama, online (like posting a blog here and feed my pet at facebook)…

4. personal time 1 hour - haha, this is the time to brush teeth and take bath (2-3 times a day)

5. Sleeping - 4 hours lo….. this is what left over in 24-hour

haha, i know some people start to thinking of buy a rotan, call to marah, say i am padan muka for many reasons….. well, i am not going to deny that i may did something wrong.

Maybe i do not have good assignation skill in sharing with tasks with frens.

Maybe i am individualistic in doing assignment (i prefer individual assignment!!!!)

Maybe i am spending too many time in watching drama but not sleeping

Maybe i am poor in planning and structuring…

haha, these might affect my image as a future counsellor…. ^_^ I think, this only happen in this semester. at least, i still can rest at sunday night. hehe…

althought i have no much time to sleep, i have to post something here so that those miss me de can come to read my mix language and imagine my cute face… ^_^ hehe….dont argue with me about this issue, ok? I am CUTE in many ways… hahaha…

tat’s all for this post lo. keep in touch lo. if you message me for something unurgent and found i am not replying, maybe i am sleeping, busying with my stuff… or, I AM LAZY and TIRED… sorry for any inconvenience….

Haha, i know many people will feel disappointed when see nothing in my blog…

ok la, i will update my blog whenever i have time… even a short post. ^_^

Fell sick already and now is recovering…. still have many tasks to go, so cannot let myself sick for long period. Well, my mini research for convention is larger than i thought… Library research is tougher than i ever imagined… Anyway, there is no return point… Once start, have to meet the ending line… Academic tasks are really heavy and tired… Now then only i know why Ernest said Univesity will not easy easy give u a graduation cert… O_O

recently, my coursemates are curious about status…. relationship status… some are doubting that those do not have partner are either lesbian or gay…. well, to some extent, it is funny to listen to rumour… after a while, it is irratating…. Some may hurt and feeling annoying…. When people getting older, people start to ‘CONCERN’ about their partner… concern is a nice and soft word. Then, i say, i choose to break up with a guy because i am lesbian… haha…The collectivism culture in Malaysia is sometimes bothering people… Believe me, the gay or lesbian can find a boy or girl as his or her fake partner… is better to stop this topic before worsening the class climate…

Wow, i am missing my family so much…especially the Jc Tan and JQ Tan. ^_^ ok, i think i can go back at early of May… my exam schedule is so early… i have only 4 subjects have exams… convention, FInal Year Project only examined on the course work… ^_^

Again, i wish all my coursemate try the best in this semester… This is an extraordinary challenging semester… anyway, in positive way, we can, if we think we can! ^_^

从砂拉越回去沙登就开始忙了……见了那个肯定是长高了的弟弟，集聪明与气质于一身的单眼皮哥哥还有永远都那么可爱的阿牛……^_^ 之后也与Anand聚了一聚……短短的一个星期内，我已经让家有喜事，大喜事，和 Inkheart 赚我的钱了！ 想到Popcorn 都怕了…… ^_^ 时间过得非常得快；确确实实地如大家常说的光阴似箭，什么时候从你身边飞过都不知道! 最后只是剩下 III-_-

‘Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? 又要回去了?!!!!!!’

回到砂拉越……………………很忙啊!!! 从星期一到今天为止都是0700-1900 的繁忙时间。到目前为止，我曾经试过从0645（起床）到2200 （做完功课）之间只吃了4颗FOX’s 的糖果。你一定会问，为什么这么不爱惜自己，真的这么忙吗，你是不是在减肥……其实，真的很多事情要处理。有一些状况并不容许我离开,然后去一个需要15分钟路程的地方吃东西。 来回会花掉不少时间的……相信曾经沉浸在课业讨论，资料搜寻的人会了解这种情况。写到这里，脑中闪过了几个人的面孔…… 担心我的人可以放心，我很健康哦！^_^ 觉得我时间处理上有问题的人也可以放心，因为我目前的状况源之于我在同一时间内有较多的责任和事项要处理。无话可说的人可以笑笑带过 ：p

haha, 忙碌了接近14 天了……我比较喜欢第一种的忙碌， ^_^  你会来读我的blog已经是对我的关心了。 谢谢你哦！

最后，告诉那些各自忙碌的人：”再忙也要量力而为因为你最了解你身体的极限！始终，健康是无价之宝” 加油咯，我的朋友们！

2008是一个充满惊喜的一年！

家庭：我有一个外甥女了哦！她的名字是陈佳琦（Tan Jia Qi, JQ Tan）。可以到我的相簿去看一看她那肥嘟嘟的样子哦。她初到人间时已有8磅++的体形了！so,她非常的可爱！JC Tan 并没有如猜想中的会吃醋。他非常的乖巧而且很疼他的妹妹。^_^ 我的家庭真可爱，甜蜜温暖充满爱！神的带领不缺席，顺境逆境笑嘻嘻！

成绩：这一年我的成绩都非常的好！一切的荣耀都归给上帝！我会继续加油的。^_^ 当然的，不只是成绩理想，我也要当一个好学的人，尝试涉猎不同的领域

生活：一个人的生活……开始习惯了。还有一些朋友和亲人问我：‘你还好吗？’；‘会像开始的时候那样伤心、难过吗？’；‘适应了吗？……哈，我ok的啦！都接近三年了！生活，照样得过！我靠着那加给我力量的，凡事都能做！现在想一想，一个人更自由^_^。好好享受生活才是最重要的！

事奉：老实说，我蛮亏欠的。很多事奉都没有参与……然而，神却让我在大港短宣队学了很多很多的事情。详细的分享在另一个post。在这里特别的加多一点东西…… 少年人，你们真得很棒！加油哦，继续保持你们那颗火热的心！人，或许不懂得欣赏你们；可是，上帝才是那个我们追随的对象哦！

新的一年，让我们迈向新的里程碑。向前奔跑在基督要我们走的路上！

2008是一个充满惊喜的一年！

家庭：我有一个外甥女了哦！她的名字是陈佳琦（Tan Jia Qi, JQ Tan）。可以到我的相簿去看一看她那肥嘟嘟的样子哦。她初到人间时已有8磅++的体形了！so,她非常的可爱！JC Tan 并没有如猜想中的会吃醋。他非常的乖巧而且很疼他的妹妹。^_^ 我的家庭真可爱，甜蜜温暖充满爱！神的带领不缺席，顺境逆境笑嘻嘻！

成绩：这一年我的成绩都非常的好！一切的荣耀都归给上帝！我会继续加油的。^_^ 当然的，不只是成绩理想，我也要当一个好学的人，尝试涉猎不同的领域

生活：一个人的生活……开始习惯了。还有一些朋友和亲人问我：‘你还好吗？’；‘会像开始的时候那样伤心、难过吗？’；‘适应了吗？……哈，我ok的啦！都接近三年了！生活，照样得过！ 我靠着那加给我力量的，凡事都能做！现在想一想，一个人更自由^_^。 好好享受生活才是最重要的！

事奉：老实说，我蛮亏欠的。 很多事奉都没有参与……然而，神却让我在大港短宣队学了很多很多的事情。详细的分享在另一个post。 在这里特别的加多一点东西…… 少年人，你们真得很棒！加油哦，继续保持你们那颗火热的心！人，或许不懂得欣赏你们；可是，上帝才是那个我们追随的对象哦！

新的一年，让我们迈向新的里程碑。向前奔跑在基督要我们走的路上！

This was the first formal conference that i have joined. The organizer was Agape Counselling Centre Malaysia. I have participated in the music therapy workshop and i have learned a lot from Ms. 林佳仪. She is one of the five registered music therapists in Malaysia and focused in treatment with autistic children. She is registered therapist in US with the title of MT-BC, part-time lecturer at UKM, and a music therapist in one cultural centre at China.

We have a 10-hour sessions during the 3-day conference. We play, listen to music, draw, share and enjoy the session in a hall. Truely, Music plays its role in session. It brought a new space for me to think of my problem and find alternative for the problem.

here, let share some tips in choosing suitable music for the client

1. Music should match the currect mood of client

2. Music should be under the group of client’s favourite song

3. Music should match the client’s religion and cultural background

4. Music should be age-approapriate

5. Music should be used where there is time-appropriate, environment-appropriate, and target-appropriate (天时,地利,人和)

We are not allowed to use music without reason…. even, if u plan to use background music for a typical session. Music can assist the session but it has the power to spoil the session as well. there are too much to be written and shared…. contact me or leave me a personal message if u are interested in Music therapy. ^_^

3 weeks ago, i went to Sg besar for a short-term missionary trip. Haha, so lazy…… now then only post the news….

the most important thing is to give thank to the Almight God! God bless us all along the way and during the whole process…… There were a lot of experiences to be kept forever…

1. Everyday has good weather 

——– Rev Sg Besar said there were the best days with weather that they have within the week, God gave us the best and suitable weather. The day b4 we reached sg besar was extraordinary hot…. the day we going back was raining….. God has power over His creation. Praise HIs name!!!

2. Everyone is healthy and happy

——— will post the photos soon… check it out and u will see how best of our meals were…. God has sent some angels to take care of our meals…. Aunty ying tai woke up at 4am to fried 20++ eggs… could u imagine? She is one of the angels…. Brothers n sisters + Rev also accompany us for lunch, dinner and supper too… the foods were really nice and fresh… especially the seafood… ^_^

3. Everything is under control

——— althought the ‘land’ is tough and hard to plant… but, God prepare it b4 we work… I still remember the night of Movie appreaciation…. God manipulate the weather to ‘trap’ the people…. Those people whose want to go home b4 the movie end cannot go home because the rain start to be heavy at that time…. this gave a chance to uncle Koo to tell the good new to someone… God is the one who control all the events!

Well, this was the first time i work with junior youth. At first, i really cant stand their ‘over excited’ voice volume. I am wonder, are they come to play nad have fun? after a while, we work together for the name of God, i really can see their willingness to coordinate and help each other. They grew up ald. They were not what have been told by some seniors in church… ^_^ really have fun time with them and learn a lot from them……..

The last night at kuala selangor…. we share a lot of personal issues… we start with pray and end with pray… We believe that there was not a game, God know and care about what we have shared.

To junior youth, i am proud to be in the same team with u all… Keep it up and always with God for everything u do… thank you for the sharing session o… it gave me a chance to get close to u all…. erm, pls keep my secret o… let it be among us only, k? hehe

Today is the first day Jc Tan is no more living here permanently. He is moving to his parent’s house. ^_^ I just a bit missing his voice and cute facial expression. My 2nd sister is very very very miss him. Of cos la, she is the one live with him 4 years successively. I think my father will also miss him so much de lo.

Another thing is that my mother also move liao…. she will live with eldest sister… maybe 2 years, maybe more than that. this is the thing that i am sad. I miss my mother. Now only i know i have been pampered by this loving and over-caring mother. A house without my mother = an incomplete house. Anyway, my eldest sister needs her the most for this moment. She really the best women that i know in this world. I love her so much.

Now, i am the part-time cook and house-keeper. this is the first day, but nothing much to do. My mother almost clear the house until the level that have no any dust in my house b4 she moves. Now, have to familiar myself with the house without mother. Everything is our responsible.

So, Love the one be with you…. ^_^